Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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