Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
