ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
