Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize