Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize