I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Even my vagina gasped.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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