Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
