I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize