I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
