I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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