...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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