ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
vagina is talking i cant
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
