Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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