a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
