a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
