I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
