So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
