so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
