I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
