loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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