All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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