Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
