That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This house was built for laser tag.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
