I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
