You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
These tits shall not be calmed
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
