Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
