No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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