She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
