you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
