You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
