He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
