Define "chronic" masturbator.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
