dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
