A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize