I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
