I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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