There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
