I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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