respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
