Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
