i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
