they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
