Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize