Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
