you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
