you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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