You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize