so explain again why im purple
no
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
