just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
