It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
