I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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