got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
