You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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