I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
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