I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Randomize
