Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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