ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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