On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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