operation have a gay friend backfired
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
