are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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