maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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