yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
