Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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