Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
