so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
