I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
